Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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