Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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