Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize