New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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