my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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