I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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