New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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