Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just blew my weed a kiss
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize