So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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