oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
