mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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