ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
