Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize