Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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