She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize