I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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