Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
