All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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