So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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