went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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