Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
