So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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