I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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