I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
