it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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