he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
