there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
