He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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