I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
