I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
