Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
BRING THE BAGELS
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
