my mouth tastes like poor choices
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
