WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
