you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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