Will you blow on my dice?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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