I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
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To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
We smell like vodka and hangover
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