you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize