He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
