Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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