good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
