she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
