where does the pee come out of this thing
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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