i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
