hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
