ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

  Fav 7 3281 863

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate

  Fav 4 790 4169

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.

  Fav 28 844 6353

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

  Fav 7 1239 4334

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that

  Fav 37 2728 6964

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?

  Fav 30 3429 5324

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.

  Fav 12 5195 1807

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

  (407): View more from Florida

  Covered in confetti and bad decisions

  Fav 9 1990 939

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  possibly by boat

  Fav 3 1308 689

  share tweet
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass

  Fav 4 975 626

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  "I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.

  Fav 4 878 678

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.

  Fav 0 15 59

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?

  Fav 0 8 53

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.

  Fav 0 48 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.

  Fav 0 14 41

  share tweet
  

Randomize