Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
