And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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