If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
