I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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