Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize