I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Drake has all the answers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
