Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
