a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
