Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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