google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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