I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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