You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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