And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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