ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
