And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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