Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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